


An Unlikely Trio

by Exceedingly



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-09
Updated: 2013-08-16
Packaged: 2019-04-07 17:57:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14086458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Exceedingly/pseuds/Exceedingly
Summary: A trio of short stories I wrote back in 2013 while using the "750 words a day" site.The first involves a wandering piece of poop named George, the second involves an adorable bumblebee named Jeffery who's obsessed with shoes, and the third is about a little bird who wants to be free of her cage.





	1. George the Poop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's pretty silly, like the title would suggest. It was a very stream-of-consciousness sort of thing, as I recall, and so there was no real goal to the story and no point it was all leading to.
> 
> But hey, I made two pieces of pond scum girlfriends, and that joke with Claire was pretty solid.

One day there was a sad little poop. It was the saddest of all the poops, and its name was George.

George was tired of living in poopville. He found it to be a very small and unpleasant place. So he decided to jump into the toilet, which was the exit from poopville, to go on an adventure.

On his adventure George met a zebra named Stan. Stan was kind of a know-it-all and rude to boot, but he was also literally the only person or thing that would talk to George, so he had to go with what he was given.

George and Stan hung out for a while, mostly in the form of Stan talking and grazing and George just standing around listening. But then a lion attacked, and since Stan had been too busy talking to pay attention he ended up as the lion’s meal.

So George had to continue on his adventure.

Eventually George met a bit of pond scum named Lily who was willing to talk with him. They chatted for a good long while about life, the universe, and poop. Lily mentioned she was quite glad she wasn’t able to smell, on account of not having a nose, or else this new-found relationship probably wouldn’t work out. But Lily’s girlfriend Sam, a bit of pond scum down the way, eventually got tired of listening to the two go on. Or so she soon made abundantly clear when she told George to take a hike ‘cause she was tired of listening to his whining.

So George had to continue on his adventure.

Eventually George came across a human corpse named Evangeline. She didn’t talk much, but George found her to be an excellent listener.

However, George eventually realized that, while it was sometimes nice to be able to prattle on endlessly with no interruption, the occasion did come when it would be nice to get some feedback, even in the form of a simple “Mm-hm.” But Evangeline wouldn’t supply even this much.

So George had to continue on his adventure.

One day, while braving the forests of Mongolia, George came upon a bit of lint, whose name was Claire. George soon discovered that Claire was a superhero, something it turned out she had been quite eager to confess to someone. When George inquired what exactly her superpower was, she claimed that it was to become invisible and never be found again. Foolishly, George asked her to demonstrate, which she did, and quite well too.

So George had to continue on his adventure.

George’s final acquaintance met on his travels was another little turd named Bonnie. Bonnie was quite nice, actually, and in fact, as they conversed, George discovered they were similar in most respects. They enjoyed each others’ company for a few months, but eventually George realized he kind of hated himself and that having someone around that was so much like him was actually kind of a downer. Apparently Bonnie realized this at about the same time, since when George went to confess this revelation, he found she was about to tell him the same thing. It was an awkward conversation, but they both decided they’d feel better overall if they never saw each other again. They said their goodbyes and began to go their separate ways.

Unfortunately, this happened right at the same time the world decided to end. Yes, ‘decided’ is the correct word. The world just straight up decided ‘fuck it’ and hurtled itself into the sun. The resulting atomic reaction destroyed the other nearby planets, which started a chain reaction that destroyed the other planets in the solar system, the solar system itself, the surrounding systems, the galaxy they were a part of, the surrounding galaxies, and eventually the universe itself. It all just died. All of it.  
Except, somehow, George. Once the reactions ended and reality itself had pretty much ceased to exist, George realized he was actually still around, just kinda floating there. Or was it floating, really? There wasn’t anything else around, so it was hard to tell. Just infinite nothingness.

Then George realized something. He felt… different. He sat there for a while, pondering what exactly felt so different, and then it hit him. George had melded with all life and everything everywhere. Somehow, it was all a part of him now. Stan, the lion meal; Lily the pond scum and her girlfriend Sam; the silent Evangeline; Claire the superhero (though he wasn’t quite sure where in him she was); and of course, Bonnie. They were all a part of him now. And George actually felt content and happy for once.

And so George the poop sat there in the infinite nothingness, containing all of everything within him, and life was good.


	2. Jeffery the Prettiest Little Bumble Bee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one I went into with a general goal in mind, and it ended up turning out much more solid because of it. It's a pretty cute story.

Jeffery was the prettiest little bumble bee. Or he hoped he was, anyway. He was fat and fuzzy, with small little legs and antennae. In these respects he looked very much like most bumble bees, if perhaps slightly more perfectly round. But the main way in which he set himself apart was that he had a very large collection of cute little bumble bee shoes, which he very much enjoyed showing off. He had all sorts of colors and styles, and he found that many of the other, decidedly shoeless, bees were envious of his cuteness.

The problem, however, was that in his devotion to his shoe collection, Jeffery was neglecting his bee duties, and his bee friends. Even when Jeffery did hang out with his bee pals, they quickly grew weary of how much Jeffery talked about shoes, and how Jeffery would lift his little bee legs into viewpoint whenever other bees passed by.

Mike, Jeffery’s best pal, tried to get to the root of the problem. “Jeffery, why is it you’re so obsessed with shoes?”

Jeffery turned to look at his friend, lowering his shoe-covered foot that he had been extending toward a passing group of bees. “Oh, um, well… I just… They’re cute.”

Leaning in real close, Mike said “Yeah, man, they really are. But it’s just… You won’t talk about anything else. You show them off to literally everyone that passes, even when we’re in the middle of a conversation. Could you maybe just tone it down a little? There is more to life than shoes.”

Jeffery seemed receptive, but the next day he was back to his same old shoe-obsessed self. Mike decided it was time to do something.

Mike went and talked to Melissa, the Queen Bee. Melissa was a really nice lady bee, who was always willing to talk to the other bees. Mike told her about the issue he was having with Jeffery, and after thinking about it for a little while, Melissa told Mike to send Jeffery her way.

When Jeffery arrived and Mike had left the two other bees alone, Melissa began. “Jeffery, your friend was telling me you’re… well, you’re a little overly obsessed with shoes. Now I’ve never really cared for shoes, but I think it’s neat that you do. It’s just that it seems like it’s a bit of an all-consuming thing for you. I was wondering if you could tell me why that is.”

Jeffery looked a bit embarrassed, and at first could only stare meekly down at his shoes. He mumbled the same reason he had given Mike the other day.

"They are cute, Jeffery, but that doesn’t quite explain why you are so utterly absorbed in them."

There was a bit of a pause, and then Jeffery looked up and yelled, “Because I’m afraid that I won’t look as cute without them and that if I don’t look cute then no one will like me!”

Melissa was a bit surprised that Jeffery had just let it all out like that, but after a brief moment she smiled. “Jeffery, you silly. You’re completely adorable whether you’re wearing shoes or not!” Jeffery seemed quite pleased to hear this, but Melissa wasn’t done yet. “But even if you weren’t, that’s no reason to wear shoes. It doesn’t matter if you’re cute or not - the kind of people who wouldn’t be your friends because they think you’re ugly aren’t the kind of people you should want to be friends with anyway.” Jeffery looked a little confused now, but seemed to be absorbing this info as best he could. “The only reason you should wear your cute little shoes, Jeffery, is because it makes you happy. Wear them for yourself, not for others.”

There was a period of silence while Jeffery pondered Melissa’s words, and in fact this period didn’t end until Melissa spoke once more. “It’s been great talking Jeffery, but I actually need to feed now, so I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Have a great day!”

And so Jeffery left, and after spending the rest of the evening in contemplation, he decided she was right. He was cute with or without his shoes, and more than that, it didn’t matter whether he was cute or not! His value as a bumble bee didn’t lie solely in his appearance!

Jeffery made a decision. The only reason he would ever wear shoes from now on was because he liked them.

And he stayed true to this decision. Some days he wore shoes, some days he didn’t. He didn’t feel a need to show his shoes off to every bee that passed by, and thus his work performance and social life stopped suffering. All in all Jeffery was a happier bee - and he still looked adorable in his little bee shoes.


	3. The Little Bird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is considerably darker in tone than the other two, which I recall having been a purposeful decision. I don't recall what exactly I was thinking besides that when writing this, though.
> 
> Honestly, it's my favorite of the three, in retrospect.

There was once a little bird who lived in a little cage in a little house. She was a cute, bright little canary, and she was fed decently and taken care of competently. But she was also placed near a window, and every time she glanced out it her heart longed for more. She longed for freedom.

She had tried several times to escape. She'd hurt her beak pecking frantically on her cage's metal bars early on. Once, when her owner opened the cage door she'd simply flown right out. But she had not checked to see if the window was open before her daring escape, and unfortunately it was not. She managed to flutter around the room in circles for a few minutes, but eventually she was snatched from the air and unceremoniously tossed back inside her cage.

One day she discovered that she could squeeze through the bars of the cage if she tried hard enough. She was a little on the chubby side, however, which resulted in her wings getting bruised on the way out. She was unable to fly, and the cat soon found her flailing about on the floor. She fled and was able to seek refuge under a dresser until the owner discovered the situation. Once again she was thrust inside her cage, with little care afforded her in regards to her bruised wings.

After that incident, she made a point to eat decidedly less, and the next time she tried to slip through the bars, she had little difficulty. It was a hot summer day, and thus the window was open, and the little bird was soon out it and in the open air right outside the little house. There was a group of wild birds watching her from a nearby tree, and these birds quickly surrounded her before she had even left the yard.

"You shouldn't be out here," said one.

"You've been in captivity your whole life - you'd never make it out here," said another.

"It's much better for all of us if you just stay in there," said a third.

"You don't understand how good you have it in there. You'll be much better off there," said the first.

The little bird protested, but there was little she could do against a group of larger birds. They easily overpowered her and forced her back into the house, hurting one of her wings in the process. Her owner soon found her lying on the floor, and she soon found herself lying on the floor of her cage once more.

The little bird wept, from pain both physical and mental. This was the closest she had ever gotten - she had actually made it outside! To be so cruelly robbed of her freedom by those wild birds... it was too much to bear. She wept for days, and her wing, the injury unnoticed by her owner, was slow to heal and slower still to stop hurting.

That was a month ago. Today was the day she would finally make it out, that she would finally gain her freedom. The window was open, the cat was not in the room, and no other birds could be seen outside. She squeezed her emaciated form between the metal bars, fluttered her wings, and glided out the window.

A gust of wind helped propel her up high into the air, and she had soon escaped the confines of her yard. This felt so great, the feel of the air all about her, the sight of her house far below - now just one of many little indistinguishable buildings. There were no other birds around, certainly not that terrible group from before. Nothing but clear blue sky above, and a horizon stretching toward infinity.

Then the spike of pain hit. Her wing was still injured. Her starved body was weak and frail, which made the spike of pain wrack her body even harder than it otherwise would have. She shook, and tried to regain herself, but could not prevent her wing from curling in pain. She began to fall, her body going into a nosedive toward the ground far below. She desperately tried to slow her descent, to do anything to save herself, but her body wouldn't respond. She frantically stared about, hoping there might be another bird around that could help. On a rooftop she spotted a small group of birds, and she called out to them, but they stared at her with cold eyes.

"We told you that you would never make it out here," said one.

"We tried to help you before. You're on your own now," said another.

The little bird's limp body careened past them, tears streaming from her face. She forced herself to stare at the oncoming ground, realizing now that this was it. There was nothing she could do to save herself, and there was no one that would help. She closed her eyes, and embraced her fate. She met the ground, and the little bird as a living being was no more.

And this, unfortunately, is the end of her story.


End file.
